Prologue: The Epidemic
- We live in an era of unparalleled luxury, yet so many of us suffer from the feeling of lack.
- Do you want more from life? If you do, you were born for it
- We were all dreamers as children. But then we encounter society – a vast mass of people living largely miserable lives, doing work they hate, to support a lifestyle that is never good enough and then retiring half a lifetime later to start living
- The Downers (society) eventually grow on us, and by the time we hit highschool we join the “dreams are for kiddies” club
- But the fact that I knew not one friend, adult, parent of mentor pursuing their ideal lifestyle was my fuel. It was my impetus to work harder than those around me.
- Do it yourself. Lead your dream life. You were meant to.
Preface: Waking Up
- You’re tired of 2 things: You don’t know what to do with your life; you’re living an empty life with no purpose or passion
- You were born to do much bigger things with your life. You were born for greatness and there is some larger purpose out there for you
- Passion and Purpose
- born to do the big things in life, but most of us get sidetracked along the way
- We always have a ton of excuses:
- Money, Time, Fear, The How-To, nobody has done it before, laziness
- Why not? What’s the alternative? What is the worst that can happen?
- Your choices are: live a life doing what you want
- Working just because you should is the most meaningless, undirected use of your life
- You will find a clear path of what you want to do in your life and what you must do, you’ll have dreams, goals, passions
- We need:
- Friends and family
- Our Purpose
- We need to find a thing that makes us want to get up and cultivate ourselves daily
- It is living a meaningless, purposeless life. You become nothing but a hollow shell
- The feeling of lifelessness – it’s normal to feel this way from time to time but when you feel this way consistently that should be a warning sign
- How to escape an unfulfilling one? By creating a meaningful one
- Know that you’ve had a hand in creating something of intrinsic excellence that makes a contribution
Part 1 – Killing Your Old Life: Getting your head straight
Does your Life have a Purpose? Does Mine?
- All it means is going out and finding the activities that are so inherently enjoyable that you’d do them for the rest of your life
- 1.) Do what you enjoy.
- 2.) Do whatever it takes to do so
- 3.) Never settle and say, “you tried your best.”
- If you don’t know what you enjoy, try everything
Beginning with the End in Mind
- People who suffer from mid-life crisis or any crisis?
- They don’t lead a life they feel has purpose. Work is for work’s sake, leisure time is not used wisely
- Day to day enjoyment is the exception, not the rule. Monotony dominates
Anatomy of a Mid-Life Crisis
- The perceived presence or lack of purpose
- What’s the cure? Purpose and passion. Purpose is the destination and passion is the way
- Purpose is one of the most “critical thresholds to reach”
- Purpose is what modern man lacks the most
- You are going to have to do something for work, might as well do something that gives you a reason for living
- An entire lifetime can pass with certain things imitating passion and purpose. Seeking promotion after promotion (vacation time!), earn money with no direction
- The lack of purpose will always be hiding in the background waiting to emerge again, and can leave you feeling emptier than before
- It doesn’t magically disappear if you pretend it’s not there
Cherishing the Lost, In-Between Feeling
- It is the gift of opportunity. Don’t mistake it for anything else.
- Emerging adulthood: the 18 – early 30s time-sensitive period
- We are taking longer to reach adulthood milestones because we feel a greater desire for more experiences from life
- We want answers to the “What am I gonna do with my life?” question
- If you find yourself floating in the lost feeling, know that you are in a great position. The feeling comes from entering a life phase that has no structure or guided direction
- The cure?
- DIRECTION AND PURPOSE
- What do you want to do with your life does not mean “what corporate job do you want to do for your entire life?”; It means what do you want to do with your LIFE
The Rat Race
- Rat race – always running and working but never actually getting anywhere
- Getting paid is great but getting paid and having no clue what to do with that money, since you’re not working towards anything, you quickly become listless and want a change of scenery
- No goals and no point to the work? So you just spend the cash.
- These people, their lives are just run by FEAR AND GREED
- offer them more money and they continue the cycle by also increasing their spending
- If you’re working just because you should be, with no goals you are working towards, no skills to acquire then you are running in place
- You’re working just for the sake of living your lifestyle, and living your lifestyle just for the sake of working
- Nothing worth working for. Work for work’s sake
- Some steps to transcend the rat race:
- Get rid of the shit you hate
- Know what you want from life
- Grow the stones to get it done
Killing Your Old Life: The Not-to-do List
- An awesome life is less of doing what we hate rather than doing more of what we love
- The not-to-do list will be more critical to our success than a want-to-do list
- Ie: hanging out with people with exactly nothing going on in their lives
- Ie: Living in a city without a large international scene
- Why subtraction is sometimes more valuable
- Subtraction leaves fewer options. Analysis paralysis, facilitates decision making
- Sometimes you don’t want more, but an alteration of the current situation. Bad job -> good job. Meaningless life -> meaningful life
- Determine for yourself the things you never want to do again
- If you don’t know what you want in life, you’ll find that it’s much, much harder to find purpose and fulfillment
Why you can never get what you want in life, unless…
- You know what you want
- You can’t get anything out of life if you don’t know what you want from life
- Things life wanting a million dollars, sitting in a hammock drinking wine forever?
- Socially respectable responses and like most other conventional wisdom, lack depth or real consideration
- Specifics are unimportant, just an idea of what would be a cool position to be down the road.
- The decision to make a decision is the important part. Just do something and live your life boldly
Part 1: What subject makes you smile and get talkative?
- You’d have at least one topic where you can bring up and your eyes will immediately light up. You will start talking a little quickly and sometimes get embarrassed you are hogging the conversation
Part 2: What thing would you regret not having tried upon your deathbed?
Part 3: What thing do you spend countless hours reading about or researching?
- That’s the kind of obsessively fixed attitude you’re looking for regarding the topic or idea of choice
Some Exercises to Try:
The Wizard Exercise
You have way more money than you ever need, given to you by a wizard, Where will you live, what do you do for daily enjoyment? What do you enjoy doing?
The Fuck It Exercise
Life has you stressed out and you’re ready to call it quits and move across the world; where do you and go and what do you do?
The I don’t ever want to do this again Exercise
Make a list of jobs you hated and figure out why you hated them. Some will overlap with your never-want-to-do-again list. Or you can simply list things you absolutely never want to deal with again or those you enjoyed.
Part 1 Recap
- Find out what activities give your existence purpose
- The seeds for quarter and mid-life crises are sown in youth – if your life doesn’t have a purpose given to it, it won’t magically appear later in life
- Feeling lost? That’s alright. It’s a feeling of liberty and just means you need to clarify what you want to get out of life
- The not-to-do list is the single best way to analyze all of the shit you hate in your life and permanently say “bon fucking voyage” (LOL)
- If you are caught in the rat race and have no ambition for your time or money then your time and money will waste you. Find direction for your time and money and your life will regain meaning and values.
- Don’t forget that there is nothing wrong with doing something just for the sake of it. Everything you do doesn’t have to be for a reason – as long as it’s fulfilling
All credits go to: milkthepigeon.com, e-book (Killing your old Life and livin’ the dream)